Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
