My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
