Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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