So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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