He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
