Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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