puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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