Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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