is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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