talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
