We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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