just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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