He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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