I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
