the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
