drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
