if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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