big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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