I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
