LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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