sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
