You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize