My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
