There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
