508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
