Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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