Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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