I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize