Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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