I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
