I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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