Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
