In the future we'll all be gay
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize