I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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