i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
