matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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