What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My ass is underappreciated
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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