You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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