So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
