Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
