I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
