I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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