If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i came on her dog
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
