yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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