Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
