Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My breasts were aching with rage.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize