We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
