oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
