i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
