names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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