My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize