He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
