An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
