Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
