I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
