i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
