It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
