I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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