she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wear drunk well.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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