I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
