Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
