make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
