I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
