Don't you send me to vm
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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