I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
