I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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