Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
