I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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